I sat down for lunch with my Aunt Patty a few weeks ago, and as happens any time I speak with family, a few questions arose about my current lack of a love life.  It's usually easier to talk to Aunt Pat though, as compared to other groups of friends/acquaintances, as she understand scripturally where I'm coming from.  But I remember sitting over a well grilled steak and saying, "I am very happy and content with being single...but still looking."  Her response leads me to write what I am writing today, as she then asked, "Yes, but exactly what are you looking for?"

It seems like a question easy enough to answer.  It seems as though I could make a list and wait to find someone who fits a certain percentage of my main points, and latch on.  But you and I both know there's more to it than that.  The world makes lists of who they want to be with.  The world looks at appearance, fashion, commonalities in the areas of music, movies, habits, and food tastes, when its looking at relationships.  eHarmony.com is all about matching you up with people you are compatible with, but how do they know if you're compatible?  They're just looking at surface characteristics.  As I set forth to describe to my aunt who I am looking for, I found myself on a gradual decline of conversational progression, and I felt that the question brought more to the forefront than whether I was looking for a blonde, brunette, or another redhead.

We singles need to raise the level of expectations we have for our future girlfriends, boyfriends, and eventual spouses.  We need to look past the lenses of this world, which stop at looks, likes, and habits, and search deeper within.  How might this world change if we looked to the character of a person as appealing or attractive?  How would the dating scene change if men and women looked deeper than just the bodily appearances of their significant others?  The results would be staggering.

If we sought out people of striking character, belief, and conviction, we'd value those individuals exponentially more.  You see, a girlfriend can be dismissed.  A "chick's" number can be dropped.  But the thought of a woman of God lingers in the minds of men, and man of God lingers in the minds of women. 

I'm tired of messing around with the dating life.  I don't enjoy "playing the field," and I've never felt, whether right or wrong, it was something that I was supposed to do.  I do feel the call to raise the bar on my relationships with women in my life.  I feel a desire to look beyond their stats on paper and beyond the things we have in common.  My hope is that you would join me in looking deeper and discerning who someone is at their innermost heart.  Then, our relationships would most definitely be immensely more fruitful, whether they ended in marriage or not.

Bob