Over the course of the past few weeks, our Gravity SubzerO youth group has been taking a deeper look at I Timothy 4:12, which reads, "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." The past two weeks have been marked by glances at the influence of our speech and conduct, and this post will serve as a series continuum, with which we will seek to understand how we can set an example, and leave a lasting impression of love.

I have long and often been convicted at how shallow we sometimes use the term 'love.' I am a firm believer in saying what you mean, and meaning what you say, and it is seldom that we live with a firm grasp of that policy, especially within the confines of the word 'love'. We wrap love into several capsules, that rarely ever hit the true meaning of the word, and in so doing, we've long been lying to ourselves about what we truly love. You see, love is not simply an emotional swell between a man and woman. Love is not an obligation between parent and child. Love isn't even a group of buddies you couldn't imagine going without on a Saturday night. True love is a concept of self sacrificial service for others. It is giving of yourself in order to better the life/lives of another/others. How often do we live as an example of that?

Timothy was at a cultural disadvantage in Greece, due to his age. In Greek culture, value and honor was placed with individuals based on their age and life experiences. Elders of the Church, and elders of the society had no reason, culturally, to pay any attention to Timothy as he was only in his mid-thirties, a relatively modest age at the time.

Our culture does not hold the same values as the Greek culture of the first century. In fact our society places a higher value on youth than it places on a life filled with experience and wisdom. However, we still find ourselves fighting the same condescending nature as Timothy fought 2,000 years ago. For though we may not face the Grecian age discrimination, we often find ourselves fighting in the face of today's values of money, power, fame, youth, and other outward appearances, and too often we allow ourselves to have the same reaction as Timothy, which was to shy away and forget the gifts that God has given us. This is the excuse that Paul sought to eliminate as he wrote this letter to Timothy.

We will encounter numerous occasions throughout our life in which we will be listened to only to be immediately and totally disregarded. The most vivid memories I have of these moments come from my life in a locker room. Throughout my life, I've never been one to have very high a value placed on my opinion in any given locker room I've been in. My teammates were never offended by me, but they'd never felt that I understood their situations. They'd never felt as though I could relate to their life. Whilst it wasn't my age that kept them from paying me attention, I never seemed to have something to offer that they valued at that point in time, and therefore, I seldom had an audience. That was until the season of 2006.

Most of you know that 9 days prior to the season opener of my 5th year, my dad passed away from stomach cancer. The weeks leading up the season were if nothing else, confusing, as I would catch a red-eye flight home for a few days, only to return to South Bend for another scrimmage, after which I would fly home again. No one on the team quite knew how to approach me, or handle my situation. Then the time came to address the media. It was a bit of a scary idea, talking to the media about my dad dying, but I knew what the Lord had in me to say, so I didn't grow as nervous as I'd prepared to be. You can actually see my press conference here.

What you won't see is the priorities I listed for those reporters. They kept trying to ask what I was doing "for me" at a time like this, and it took a bit of time for me to respond, but I finally retorted with something along the lines of, "Nothing. Right now, I'm taking care of my mother and brother first, and my teammates second. They deserve all I've got.

In the days following the press conference, word had spread about why I was back, not because I owed it to my teammates, but rather because I wanted to give them all I had, every bit I could spare. That fifth year, though not the best in terms of my on-field performance, was the best year the Lord could have blessed me with, having ample and numerous opportunities to share exactly why I wasn't worried about my dad's eternal resting place. All of a sudden, having been an example in love and conduct to my football brethren, I was invited to be an example in speech as well.

We won't all go through the same steps before we gain the attention and respect of those around us. I pray that most of you needn't go through any loss at all. But the truth remains that we must express a true self-sacrificial service-oriented love to others if we want our message to be heard. So, who in your life are you trying to share with, and how in that relationship are you sacrificing of yourself to make life better for them?

Love first, talk later,

Bobby