Okay look, I'm about to write a very serious note.  It may seem as though I'm fishing for a response.  I'm not.  But if I want this blog to be about anything other than funny quips I come up with on a semi-regular basis, I've got to be real.  Enjoy.

I've been struggling the past couple of months with the concept of fellowship.  I've shared this before, and truth be told, I'll probably share it again, but it really bothers me that this isn't something I can just fix overnight.  All I want is to go to bed knowing that when I wake up in the morning, I won't have the same issues to deal with the next day, and though I don't know if you've ever tried that, I'm here to tell you it doesn't work.  Day in and day out, I still find myself trudging through life at a pace that pales in comparison to how I've lived my life before.  Week in and week out, I attend both first and second services at Grace Church, just so I can see a few more faces for a few more hours before I go back to my house, fix myself a sandwich, and read a book.  The whole thing is getting rather tired.

I am a creature of community.  I love to be with people.  I love to love on people.  I just love people, in general.  More recently though, I've found myself around people less and less as each day goes on.  It's not like it's a terrible thing to be alone now and again.  Since this whole time of life started, I've read more books than I'd read my entire life, I've spent more time in the Word than I'd been spending, I've journaled more than I'd care to admit, and I've washed every article of clothing I own.  But though those things are worthy of excitement, I'd really rather put down a book and pick up a buddy. 

I guess the question I ask is, "What kind of life am I living?"  It has always been my desire to live a life of impact.  Today, though, it feels more like I'm living a life of existence.  I'm here, I'm listening, I'm alert, I'm only a phone call away, but if I were to skip out on a meeting with friends or a Sunday service, it wouldn't cross anyone's mind.  And even if they did notice, would anyone pick up a phone and ask where I've been? 

This sounds so selfish, now that I've taken the time to write it out.  I should rejoice that the Lord has called me to some one-on-one time with Himself.  It's just a bit difficult for me, is all.  There's a lot going on.  There are many laughs to be had, many tears to be shed, many hugs to be given, and much love to be shared.  Sometimes, it's just hard to realize that when you're flyin' solo.

Laugh, cry, hug, and love,

Bob